Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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