Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Randomize
