no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
