those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
