FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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