I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
