all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
