We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
