Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
