Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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