it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
