She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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