So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
