Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
