I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
