Sponge bath it is.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
