So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
