Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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