He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
