Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
