so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
