Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
