God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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