What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
