I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
