it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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