I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
