I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Randomize
