Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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