My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
