so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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