you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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