I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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