We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
