whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
