Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
