You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
