dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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