how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
