i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
