I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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