I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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