this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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