i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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