Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
