We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
