also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
