i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
