I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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