I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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