tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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